I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
