whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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