Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
