Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
