I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
