Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
