just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
