i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
