I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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