its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
