Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize