The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
