I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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