kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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