you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
