Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
