I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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