Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
