he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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