I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize