You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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