Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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