I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
