I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
