apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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