My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is it because I queefed?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
