James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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