Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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