Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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