I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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