is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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