But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it hurts more in the daytime
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
