I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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