six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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