How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
