Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
God I need to hump something, right now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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