Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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