I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you win again, gameday.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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