i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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