yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
