The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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