Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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