Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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