I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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