I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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