how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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