what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
