those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
