Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
