So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
