Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
