Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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