dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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