If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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