And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
