Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
