no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
