hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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