Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
