My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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