C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
