mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize