He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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